Recovery

 In early 2009 when the economy tanked and unemployment was over 10% I decided this was a good time to go back to school while things recover. The plan then was to graduate, get experience and settle down. Now the economy is recovering and I will be graduating, but I do not know where I want to settle. I am torn because I like my current location and everything about it. On the other hand my mother is getting older and I do want to be closer to her. 

I'm attracted to the west coast and it feels like I still have unfinished business here. But in the end I guess any job offers will still be the biggest influence of where I end up. Hopefully it does not take as long for me to recover from school as it has the economy. 

Confidentiality

 I’m assuming most NP programs are similar to this one and that we meet weekly with our instructor to discuss patients, clinicals and any concerns. For our primary care we are all located in different large busy clinics throughout the metropolitan area. These clinics are not in any way upscale or suburban; they provide services to the inner-city and underserved populations. But this is also where we get the best experience, because many of these patients are train wrecks with extensive problem lists.
 
Nobody has dropped out, so my cohort remains the same ten people after 18 months. We now know each other all too well. These weekly sessions lead by our instructor is a chance for us to decompress from the stresses of everything going on. Of course our favorite topic is patients and their comorbidities.

Everything we talk about is confidential. But we laugh at our patients, we feel for our patients, we get frustrated with our patients and we really care about them. It helps because we know we are not alone in the decisions and mistakes that we make. They are learning points. Our instructor with her decades of experience has some of the best and funny stories about patients and mistakes from her past.   

I want to blog about some of my patient encounters, but it still feels uncomfortable to post anything outside of the classroom for fear of being recognized. Even without identifying points in a post, all those confidentiality, HIPAA and ADA laws make me overly cautious while still in school.

Take what I can get

Feel so mentally beat up lately that even a card in the mail from Southwest Airlines made me feel better.  I Luv you too Southwest, now take me the #%*+ away.  

Paths of Life



As I continue to walk the bigger path of life, it is hard not to look back at the smaller paths and exit ramps taken along the way. People, places and experiences are what shape your life.
And many times I have wondered how one decision, made years ago, along one of the numerous side paths, would have changed everything.

Would I be walking this current path of life to become a nurse practitioner, probably not. And who knows where I would be if one of a thousand decisions had been made differently. Honestly, life’s little journeys can have positive and negative effects, but they are only part of the aspects that make you who you are.

As easy as it is to look back at paths not taken and decisions that could have been made differently, so it is with looking forward on my current path. Sometimes I think that I should never be here, but yet the path is still beneath my feet.

Even though the end is close and I think I will see it just around the next ridge. There waiting for me is another creek to cross or hill to climb. So I will keep walking. Sometimes on a smooth trail, sometimes on a path that is overgrown and strewed with hazards. Life is just that way, and there will be a day when I will look back and wonder if I should have made different choices I have yet to make.